


Subdued

by ThatMasterOnline



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Canon-typical overuse of the word 'lad', no beta we die like zagreus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatMasterOnline/pseuds/ThatMasterOnline
Summary: Accepting blessings from a god is a dangerous thing. Without a strong will and a firm grip on who you are, you're liable to...slip. A god's control feels nice, after all, like a gentle promise to take away the pain. And Zagreus has been in pain lately.Or, Zagreus slips. Achilles and Patroclus are there to catch him when he falls.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 167





	1. Ares

Achilles and Patroclus can always tell which particular god Zagreus is favouring on any particular run. He's a little more impatient, or a little more vibrant, or his usual buoyant demeanour is subdued, or he fingers his weapon of choice as though yearning for a fight even in the few seconds of calm visiting their abode offers him...They can always tell. For the most part, it's not an issue. Zagreus generally has a firm grip on himself. Achilles worries, and he cautions Zagreus against accepting too many blessings from one god in particular. Zagreus promises to be careful. And no doubt Zagreus thinks he  _ is  _ being careful.

But that's the worst part. When a god has overtaken you, you don't even realize what's happened.

Achilles could clearly remember when he'd been taken over by Lord Ares. It was as though his soul was suspended in a heavy fog, led by a hand which promised to guide, urged him to rest, let the other take control, for a while. When he'd woken, he'd wept in Patroclus's arms in utter terror of the bloodshed he'd caused, and just how much he'd loved it.

It's how he knows, the second Zagreus walks in, that something isn't right.

"Pat," Achilles says. Tightens his grip on his spear, though without visibly moving into a fighting stance.

"I see it," Patroclus replies. He'd seen what Achilles had looked like while under Lord Ares's influence, and their young prince has the same look on his face now. He has the same dark sparkle in his eyes, the same twisted smile, born in the anticipation of bloodshed. His clothes are drenched in blood already, but Achilles knows that there is no such thing as enough bloodshed with Lord Ares.

Zagreus spots them, and the sudden increase in his pace tells them everything they need to know.

"Don't kill him," Achilles says.

"No promises," Patroclus replies, and Achilles knows. He too would kill Zagreus before allowing him to end Patroclus's life, temporary though such a death may be. They meet Zagreus head on, two spears against Zagreus's one, but the prince is not himself. He is little more than a puppet for Ares to manipulate as he pleases, and Ares is far more skilled with a spear than Zagreus is.

The fight is vicious, but Ares much prefers to fight head on than try for any sort of tact or careful plan, and so he is eventually outmatched by virtue of Achilles and Patroclus's teamwork. Zagreus cannot keep his eyes on both of them at once, and eventually Patroclus lands a blow right to the back of Zagreus's head with the blunt end of his spear. Zagreus grunts. His eyes roll back and his knees fold, but this too has been planned; Achilles is right there at Zagreus's front to catch his limp body as it falls.

"Now what?" Patroclus asks, "He's not going to stop when he wakes up."

"We bleed it out of him. Let's get him to the pool." Patroclus stares at him in blatant confusion, but follows Achilles when he picks Zagreus up and starts walking.

The pool of purging is thankfully a measly two doors ahead. As they approach the blood red pool with coins swirling at the bottom, Achilles shifts Zagreus into Patroclus's arms.

"Hold him for me." Patroclus holds him up, and Achilles takes the knife sitting on top of the pool and carefully cuts a stripe down Zagreus's arm. Blood wells and flows down his arm into the pool, and when he's offered up enough seventy obols float to the surface and spill over onto the floor. The wound made by the knife seals itself.

"Lad's going to need to sleep this off," Patroclus says, and Achilles nods a firm agreement as they head back to their little corner of Elysium.

***

_ He looks so...dazed. _

_ Lord Ares's influence, I've no doubt. It's...an addictive feeling. It's hard to get your mind on straight afterwards. _

When Zagreus wakes, he notices first the voices. They murmur quietly, careful not to wake him, and if Zagreus concentrates he can hear their breathing in the pauses. It's...nice. Nice to just relax for a while.

_ Will he wake?  _ one of the voices continues.

_ He will. He just needs time.  _ says the other. Achilles. And Patroclus. Memory returns to him in a flash of pointed spears and desire to kill, and Zagreus screams and jerks bolt upright.

“See?” Achilles says to Patroclus, and then, “You didn’t hurt us, and we don’t blame you, and we aren’t angry,” he says to Zagreus in lieu of greeting. Achilles knows from experience that questions of “are you alright?” or “how are you feeling?” would be completely ignored under the weight of the overwhelming knowledge that he’d attacked his mentors. So, Achilles starts the conversation with the only thing Zagreus cares about.

“You didn’t hurt us at all, lad,” he says again, “We aren’t hurt, and we aren’t angry, and we still care for you very very much, and it’s alright.”

“I didn’t hurt you?” Zagreus demands, eyes wild. He reaches forward and all but rips their clothes searching for hidden wounds. Patroclus protests with an irritated sound, but Achilles accepts the rough treatment with good grace. He knows exactly what Zagreus is feeling, and he knows the prince won’t be satisfied until he’s all but stripped them down and confirmed the lack of wounds with his own eyes.

“I...I didn’t hurt you?” he asks again, calmer, his examination complete.

“No, lad,” Achilles says again, gently. And then, exactly as Achilles had known he would-

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry-” Zagreus falls into their arms, and they both hold him tight.

“No harm done, stranger,” Patroclus says quietly. 

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I’m sorry I accepted a blessing from Ares and then and then and then…! I’m sorry I didn’t even realize it was happening I’m sorry I’m so sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-” On and on and on and on it goes.

“Any point telling him we forgive him and he doesn’t need to apologize this much?” Patroclus asks, but he already knows the answer from when Achilles had been similarly affected.

“None at all.”


	2. Zeus

When Zagreus walks in next, he has an easy confidence about him, like he owns the entire Underworld and he knows it. 

(It's what Achilles had initially feared Zagreus would be like, when he'd heard he'd be training Lord Hades's son. Arrogant, condescending...Luckily, Zagreus had been none of those things, but if he had...he would look like this.)

"Hello,  _ sirs _ ," Zagreus says, and he says  _ sirs  _ with such a tone of irony that Achilles nearly winces.

"Hello, lad. How fares your journey this time?"

"Oh, well enough. Nothing can stop me with Lord Zeus on my side!" Achilles and Patroclus share a glance.

"But really, isn't it high time you stopped calling me lad?" Zagreus continues, "I'm much too old for such condescending titles."

"It's not condescending, you've always known that. Since you're my student, you are like one of my children. It's a promise that, as my student, I'll care for you."

"I think student surpassed teacher long ago, don't you?" Zagreus replies, "Why, soon enough I'll have to help you by the hand for you to get anywhere!" Patroclus's mouth turns down in a frown as Achilles snaps,

" _ Zagreus. _ " His tone is sharp and firm, the kind of tone that, as a child, meant Zagreus had crossed a line and needed to backpedal now or suffer the consequences. (Zagreus had never once 'suffered the consequences', so frigtenes was he of that tone coming from the usually-gentle Achilles) Now, Zagreus's eyes widen, and curiously that seems to be enough of a reminder to Zagreus of who he is, as he suddenly blinks and shakes his head, looking confused.

"I...I'm sorry, sir, I...I'm not sure what came over me…"

"Have you been accepting any boons from Lord Zeus this time?"

"A few, yes, now that you mention it…"

"Purge one when next you can." Zagreus thinks of his boons, Heaven's Vengeance, Zeus's Aid...he doesn't want to give them up, he knows they'll be immensely helpful when he faces his father.

"But, sir-"

" **Zagreus** _. _ " It's proof enough of Zeus's influence that Zagreus had talked back before, but he snaps back to himself again. This one is a threat more than a warning, something Zagreus has never heard before, and Zagreus knows not to argue with that tone.

"...Yes, sir."

"Make sure you do. I'll be waiting back at the house, and I had better hear from you that you did, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

When Zagreus leaves, Achilles and Patroclus frown at eachother.

"He was taken over by Lord Ares as well, just recently," Patroclus says, "I find it strange that he'd be taken over again so soon."

"This is a new problem, I think. Zagreus has never once mentioned losing himself to his blessings before. We'll have to keep an eye on him."

Zagreus is many things, but a liar is not one of them. Zagreus gets caught up in the heat of battle, and when the time comes he's unwilling to give up a boon. Back at the house, he shamefully admits that he hadn't purged a boon when given the opportunity, and he's treated to a thorough scolding. Achilles also forces him to do his next run without accepting any boons, so Zagreus takes the shattered shackle with him and heads out. He doesn't use any boons he's forced to pick up, and he purges them the second he gets a chance. He makes it to Elysium, to his credit, but not far. When he returns to the house, thoroughly whipped, Achilles lectures him about being in control of himself at all times. He then pats his shoulder, congratulates him for going so far as he did, and offers him a challenge.

"If ever you can make it to us on a run, without using any blessings...we'll have a bottle of ambrosia waiting for you as a reward."


	3. Demeter

The door opens, and Zagreus is walking instead of running, which is their first indicator that something is off. Achilles thinks it’s unsettling (to say the least) that Zagreus has been taken over now apparently three times already, but he reminds himself that if Zagreus is to be taken over, he’d much rather Zagreus come to them than fight his way to the surface under the influence of a god whose moral code did not align with his. No, much better for Zagreus to stop, and rest, and purge the godly influence from his body and soul. 

“Lad’s gone and got himself swallowed up again?” Patroclus asks.

“It seems so,” Achilles replies, “But who is it that has hold of him?” As he approaches, Zagreus barely spares them a glance.

“Hello, sirs,” he says quietly.

“Lad,” Achilles replies, “What’s eating at you?” Zagreus shrugs.

“Nothing in particular. Just...the world is cruel, that’s all. I guess I’m just...realizing it, now.”

_ Demeter _ , Achilles mouths at Patroclus.

_ Ah _ , he mouths back.

“...Tell me, lad. Did you happen to pick up a blessing from Lady Demeter this time around?”

“Yes. She...she understands. She understands, and...she gives...she gives form, to my feelings.”

“I understand, Lad. I’ve known my fair share of the world’s cruelties, as well. We both have.” Zagreus looks up.

“That’s right. But...you’re always so happy, and...so kind. How do you do it? How can you be kind to people who don’t deserve it?”

“I suppose...it takes less energy, I find. Why don’t we walk, lad? Come with me, we’ll have a nice chat.” Achilles leads him out the gate into the next chamber, and they hang back as Zagreus makes quick work of the shades therein.

“You were always so kind to me,” Zagreus muses, “Even when you weren’t with Patroclus. You trained me, you...nurtured me, like a father...Like  _ my _ father  _ should have _ . You were never once impatient with me, never cross...Why?”

“Why should I have been cross with you?” Achilles asks in return, “You were only a little god back when we met. What reason did I have to be cross?”

“...But why agree to train me at all?”

“Your father ordered me to, lad,” Achilles replies truthfully.

“Then the question stands. Why? You were well within your right to be short with me, but you never were.”

“I ask again, why should I have been short with you? Was it your fault I had been ordered to train you? Would making you feel guilty for circumstances that weren’t your fault have served any purpose? You mentioned I was not with Patroclus at the time. Was that your fault? Was it your father’s, for that matter? And, even if it was, should I have been cross with you for your father’s faults? No matter how I was feeling, how sad and lonely and angry I may have been, the fact remains that you were still just a little god. I had no right to be cross with you, for any reason. Do you understand?” Zagreus looks at the ground, and it’s very clear that no, he doesn’t understand.

“It would have been so easy,” he says, “You could have taken your anger out on me. It would have been easier than holding back.”

“I disagree. It is not easier to be angry at someone when you have no reason to be angry at them.” Zagreus still doesn’t understand, clearly, but that doesn’t matter. They’ve made it to the pool of purging.

“Let me give you an example. Purge a boon of Lady Demeter’s.”

"Why?”

“Do you think she will be angry with you?”

“...She’ll be disappointed, and I won’t do that to her. She’s been through enough.”

“...On the contrary, that is precisely why you should. Lady Demeter will be disappointed, but she won’t take it out on you. Because she loves you.”

“...She does?”

“You told me she calls you ‘little sprout’. Do you think she gives that nickname to just anyone?”

“...She...loves me?”

“Yes. And because she loves you, she wants the best for you. She wants you to be happy. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes. You always want the best for the people you love.”

“Zagreus, lad...Right now, her influence isn’t the best for you. It’s making you sad, and I know she wouldn’t want that for you. She’d say you were too young to be burdened by such world-weariness, isn’t that right? And, because she loves you...she’ll understand that purging one of her boons is the best thing for you, even if she’ll be disappointed. It’s for the best, and that’s all she ever wants for you, right, lad?” Zagreus thinks, stares down at the knife. Takes it in his hand.

“She wants me to be happy...I...suppose...She...she loves me…”

“And she wants you to be happy, and be rid of what’s making you sad. I’ve no doubt she never intended to pass on her sorrows with her blessing, but that’s what happened. Now, the only thing to do is remove the blessing, and get you back to your usual self. Right?” Zagreus stares, and he considers, but eventually he drags the knife down his forearm and lets the blood drip into the fountain. Fifty obols rise to the surface and spill over, and Zagreus stares at the pool for a little longer before he shakes his head slowly.

“Achilles…”

“Are you back with us, lad?”

“I...I think so. I...I was...so sad…I wanted to stay on the surface, I wanted to be with my mother, be on Olympus with the other gods, I wanted to experience the sun and the snow and the wind and the flowers, and I...I’ve always been a little upset that I couldn’t, but...her blessing...made it into a gaping hole in my heart...The fates were actively working against me, I felt so sad, so...I’d lost so much, been denied so much…” Zagreus shakes his head again.

“No point dwelling on it now,” Patroclus says. Now that Zagreus is back he doesn’t need to let Achilles and his pretty words control the conversation, “It’s gone, and that’s what matters. Shall we head back?”

“Yeah…” Zagreus continues to shake his head as they walk back, and they both can sympathize. Clearing one's head of a god’s influence takes a lot of time.

“Would you like a short nap before you head out again?” Achilles asks.

“I...think that’d be nice. Thanks, by the way, for convincing me to let go of her blessing. I’m not sure how you did it.”

“Well, Lady Demeter, I thought, could see reason. I certainly had no wish to knock you out unless I had no other options.” When they make it back to the little house, Zagres goes straight inside to the bed, and Achilles and Patroclus tuck him in. This prompts a small smile on his face as he closes his eyes, and once his breathing evens out Achilles and Patroclus sigh with relief.

“Remarkable way with words you have, Achilles,” Patroclus murmurs, “I’m glad to see him back to himself. Although it does make me wonder how he managed to keep his spirits up with me. I’ve no doubt I was the same as Zagreus was, for a time.”

“He’s quite a remarkable lad,” Achilles says in way of reply, “But I too am glad he’s back to himself. Still, I’ll have to speak to Lady Nyx when next I visit the house. Zagreus has been overwhelmed too many times of late for this to be a mere coincidence. I’m beginning to suspect there’s some upset in his heart that is lessening the hold he has over his soul. It’s dangerous. We won’t always be there when he slips, and I fear he could lose himself permanently. Whatever this hurt is, we need to find it and cure it, or at least put it to rest.”

“Do you think we can?”

“We must. For Zagreus.”


	4. Interlude - Hermes

The door to their chamber opens, and they both know who he’s being influenced by. He’s moving unnaturally fast even when he’s not dashing. But he is dashing, so many times he’s little more than a blur. One, two, three, four,  _ five  _ dashes, all at once.

“Hey sirs, lovely to see you, no time to chat, bye!” And then he’s gone out the other door. Achilles and Patroclus share a look, and they both speak at the same time.

“Hermes.” And then they laugh.


	5. Chaos

When Zagreus walks into their glade the next time around, he looks...distracted. Like his mind isn’t all there. His eyes are half-closed, like he’s more interested in whatever’s happening inside his mind, and the outside world is entirely unimportant.

“I predicted I would find you here,” Zagreus says, in a tone of voice so utterly unlike his own that Achilles and Patroclus share a wide-eyed glance...and for the first time, Zagreus picks up on it.

“Ah. You are concerned because my behaviour is unusual, is that correct? Respond.” Respond?  _ Respond?? _ Achilles and Patroclus share another glance.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Achilles says. 

“I suspect my inclination to choose Master Chaos for my blessings on this run may have led to some subtle-” Subtle, right. “-effects on my behaviour. Pay it no heed, I can assure you Master Chaos bears me no ill will, and he wishes to see me succeed in my quest. Although, upon further consideration, I suspect Master Chaos may have allowed me to become influenced for their own amusement. Still, the effects will vanish immediately upon my death. It is nothing to concern yourselves with.”

“Lad,” Patroclus begins, but his voice falters, no doubt for the same reason Achilles’s has. Chaos? Chaos themselves is influencing Zagreus? Chaos is called Chaos for a reason, they’re an unknown entity. At least the other gods have predictable motives. This…

“What is the reason for your silence? Respond.”

“I...We’re just...very surprised, stranger. Master Chaos...Well, when you’re dealing with a...someone as old as Chaos...well, we don’t know what to expect. But, I was going to say...You’ve been influenced an awful lot lately. Achilles and I are starting to worry there’s something in your life making you more susceptible to...being influenced.”

“Ah. A most interesting theory. I will give it some consideration.” And then he walks over and sits in the grass, slightly apart from them. His eyes close, and it seems that’s all they’ll be getting out of Zagreus for a while.

“Lad…” Achilles says, finding his voice again, “Do you mind if I hold you?” Zagreus opens his eyes to stare inquisitively at Achilles.

“I suspect you are making this request for your own comfort and ease of mind. Very well, I will allow it.” Zagreus moves close and lays his head on Achilles’s shoulder. Achilles holds Zagreus close, and Patroclus leans his head on Achilles’s shoulder to give him whatever comfort he can, and for a long time they stay that way, completely still. Even when Zagreus is completely still and at rest Achilles can still tell he’s not himself. He’s...too still. Zagreus normally shifts back and forth, to get comfortable or to nuzzle, or just because he’s always that restless, even at rest. Now, Zagreus has his head placidly resting against Achilles’ shoulder with all the emotional investment of someone holding another person’s spear because they need both hands for a few moments. Like it makes no difference, like he’s equally comfortable either way.

Patroclus falls into a light doze, after a while. He’s leaning against Achilles’s shoulder and holding his hand, and Achilles is leaning his head against Patroclus’s. Achilles wants to doze, but he worries he’ll wake up to find Zagreus had simply decided to leave. So, he stays awake. Besides, Zagreus is behaving too oddly for him to sleep, anyway.

“...You may be correct,” Zagreus says, eventually. “Thanatos has recently informed me he wishes to have some distance, to allow our relationship to ‘cool down’. I suppose I have found my mind occupied in attempting to decipher the meaning of those words, of late. The possibility that this may be a precursor to the end of our relationship has been...distressing, to me.”

“That would do it,” Achilles says, “Even the strongest person can be influenced by a god, given significant enough emotional upset, and fear of losing Thanatos would definitely count as significant enough emotional upset.”

“Yes, that was my conclusion, also,” Zagreus says. “Upon further consideration, I was taken over by Lord Ares the same day Thanatos informed me of his desire for distance.”

“Do you...have a solution, by chance?”

“...I have not yet considered possible solutions.” Zagreus says, “I will attempt to find some now.” And then Zagreus lapses back into silence.

After more time has elapsed, Zagreus finally speaks again.

“I must resolve my conflict with Thanatos,” he says. “For better or for worse, I must know if this is the end. Thanatos was unusually vague when he spoke to me. It is possible that he too is unclear about his feelings, but no doubt he is aware enough to answer whether or not he wishes to be in a relationship with me. It is unfortunate that I will have to interrupt him despite his request for distance, but it will only be one question. I will endeavour to make the affair as short as possible. Alternatively, it may be in my best interests to avoid the gods’ blessings until my conflict with Thanatos has been resolved. However, this will upset my father, who wishes me to test the security of the Underworld. I am unsure he will be convinced to allow me a break. There is also the gods to consider. They will become suspicious if I rest for too long.”

“There is another possibility,” Achilles says, “I challenged you to make it to our house without the use of the gods’ blessings. If you tell them this, no doubt they’ll be more understanding. I can think of few gods who would not go to great lengths to fulfill a challenge.”

“An interesting possibility, and yet it may suffice to buy me the time I need to resolve my difficulties. This will be most difficult for me, and thus gives me ample reason to reject any blessings for the time being.”

“And, lad, if I may…”

“What is it?”

“For the immediate future...could you purge a blessing of Master Chaos’s, when you can?”

“Master Chaos’s blessing is beneficial in my attempt to escape, and despite my current susceptibility towards being overtaken, I am in no danger, as any ill effects will be washed away upon my next death. I see no purpose for purging the boon beyond alleviating your concern.”

“Consider, if you will,” -and when had Achilles started treating Zagreus like Chaos themselves?- “that you place significant importance on my emotional wellbeing, and that therefore alleviating my concerns is a reason that carries more weight than it otherwise would.”

“You are correct, I do care very deeply for you, and do not wish you to suffer needlessly. Very well, there is one blessing of Master Chaos’s that has, perhaps, been less useful for the rest. The benefits of keeping it do not outweigh the benefits of alleviating your concerns. I will purge one boon when I next encounter a pool of purging. That should be sufficient to ease Master Chaos’s influence. Will that suffice?”

“Yes, thank you, lad.”

“I am most pleased.”


	6. Artemis

When Zagreus comes in the next time, his eyes are darting around the area, looking at the butterflies that litter the area.

“Hello, sirs,” he says as he approaches, “Fancy a little butterfly-hunting?”

“We’ll pass, lad,” Achilles says. “You are aware those butterflies are souls, yes? People who no longer wish to fight?”

“...Really?” Zagreus asks.

“Yes, of course. The soul naturally takes the shape of a butterfly. If you’ve spoken with Thanatos, you’ll know that when he cuts the mortals’ souls from their bodies they turn into butterflies and flock to him. This is the soul’s natural shape when not attached to a body. Once in the Underworld, particularly here in Elysium, there are many who are content to spend their eternities fluttering peacefully around as butterflies. Soldiers who choose to manifest their mortal shapes are those who wish to fight, usually, and so those who have no desire to take up arms observe as butterflies, where they are free to come and go as they please without being challenged. Formless shades are usually there to have their voices to cheer at the stadium, and for little other purpose. My point here, lad, is this: those butterflies have no wish to live an afterlife of violence, and it would be unbearably cruel of you to force one on them for sport.” Artemis, who no doubt is affecting Zagreus right now, is many things, but cruel is not one of them. He’s hoping he can get through to her like this. He certainly has no wish to see Zagreus hunt innocent people for sport.

“...But I’ve nothing to hunt,” Zagreus protests, “It’s awfully boring here in Elysium. I’ve got nothing to test my skills, my eyes.”

“...Actually, lad, I may have a challenge for you. Come inside.” Achilles leads them inside, where Zagreus notices the new feature immediately.

“Is that a pool of purging?”

“Indeed it is. And it’s here that I want to test you. I’d like you to purge a boon, but not just any old way. When you purge your boon, I want the cut you make to be exactly two kondyloi (approx. 7.7 cm/3.03 in) in length. Two of my kondyloi, not yours, for an extra challenge.” I’ll measure the cut, so make sure you’re exact.”

“Hah! Easy,” Zagreus says, and then eagerly takes the knife and makes the cut. Achilles takes his arm and holds it out over the pool as he measures. It is exactly two kondyloi in length, and Achilles makes a pleased hum. But Zagreus is already shaking his head in that dazed way of his when he comes back to himself, so Achilles drops the act and lets Zagreus have his arm back as the cut heals itself.

“Two of my kondyloi in length,” Zagreus says, “That was very clever, sir. By the way, what  _ is _ with the pool of purging?”

“We requested it be constructed here,” Achilles replies, “Your Lord Father has no wish to see you overcome by these blessings, and when we mentioned that you frequently come to visit us and that luring you an uncertain number of chambers away to a pool of purging may not always be feasible, it was no great challenge to have one constructed here. In fact, I’m fairly certain your Lord Father made it a rush job.”

“So that way, if worst comes to worst, you can knock me out and purge my boons.”

“Well...yes. Although so far it hasn’t come to that, except with Lord Ares.”

“...Those butterflies are really people?”

“And I’m very, very glad you didn’t shoot any,” Achilles replies.


	7. Poseidon

When next Zagreus comes in, Achilles and Patroclus don't even notice he's there, at first. When Zagreus does eventually reveal himself with a delighted shout of "ah-hah! Another Charp!", they wonder how long he's been sitting there...fishing.

"Were you going to come up and say hello to us at any point, there, Stranger?"

"Of course I was! Just catching up on a little fishing first! The chef gives over nice rewards in exchange for fresh fish, I just wanted to make sure I had some to bring back! You have a wonderful fishing spot right here, did you know that? Why, the fish have been flocking to me right here!"

"Glad to hear it, lad. I'm sure you'll get a nice reward."

"I hope so!" Finally, Zagreus puts his fishing rod away and turns to face them. 

"Hello, sirs."

"Hey there, stranger." Patroclus looks at Achilles and raises his eyebrows, and his meaning is clear.

_ Does he need to purge? He's just obsessed with fishing, it's harmless. _ Achilles sends him a look with equally clear meaning.

_ Yes he does! _

"Have you accepted any boons from Lord Poseidon this time around?"

"I have...but, I mean, I haven't been acting any different. Things have been going swimmingly! I've been fishing a lot, that's it. Do I really have to purge?"

_ Does he? _

**_Yes._ **

"I'd feel much better if you did, lad. Even if it's not causing any ill effects, I want you to be fully yourself out there. I've always told you to trust your instincts, and you can't do that when your instincts aren't your own."

"You've got a point, sir. Poseidon says sailors need to rely on their instincts to survive on the dangerous oceans, and if they were taken over it could be really bad for them. I'll purge one of his boons right now." And then, wonder of wonders, Zagreus turns and goes inside the house of his own accord, takes the knife and cuts his own arm.

"I could use the obols anyways. I could probably buy a centaur heart before I challenge Charon again."

"...Sorry,  _ what _ ?" But Zagreus is already shaking his head and trying to remember the direction of the conversation.

"Um...Nyx said...he likes having a sparring partner? So I...borrow some of his coin and we fight."

"I see…" Achilles says as Zagreus pockets the coins. "Are you feeling alright now?"

"Yes, much better. Thank you."

"Good luck…" Achilles begins.

"...Battling to the death with a god," Patroclus finishes, and Achilles doesn't have to look to know he's grinning.


	8. Athena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So TW for this chapter for a couple moments that could very easily be seen as allusions to self-harm and the super gross "I was drunk so I'm not responsible for whatever shitty thing I said/did" mentality.
> 
> Ft. a marital spat, because the Patrochilles fandom doesn't have enough of those.

The next time Zagreus walks in, he jogs up the way he usually does.

“Hello, sirs!” he says, “Lovely day...or night.”

“Lovely day or night indeed,” Patroclus says. To him, the prince is behaving the way he always does. He may not know the prince’s every subtle nuance, but he knows Achilles, and Achilles’s eyes are sharp behind his smile. Achilles, who raised the prince since he was a babe, would know Zagreus much better than Patroclus, and if Achilles suspects something is amiss, then Patroclus is inclined to believe him even if he can’t see anything wrong for himself.

“Well, stranger,” Paatroclus says, “Who have you been accepting blessings from this time?”

“From my good Lord Dionysus,” Zagreus says, “I’m partial to his hangover effects. And how much healing he can give me.” Sounds like something the prince would say, but Achilles’s suspicions clearly haven’t been put to rest.

“Zagreus…” Achilles begins carefully, “Are Lady Athena’s boons that important to you? That you would lie to me for the first time in your life?” 

(Achilles wants to see Zagreus snap right out of it. He wants to see his eyes widen, his head bow shamefully. He wants to hear him mumble “...No, sir…” Of course, none of that happens.)

“You think I’m lying to you? Why?”

“Your voice is forced, as though you are unaccustomed to speaking so cheerfully and are putting on an act. In addition, you have never referred to any of the gods as “my good Lord”, and you certainly have never “been partial” to anything. You lied about accepting boons from Lord Dionysus, and you’re putting on a show. No doubt because you’re well aware that if I think you’ve been taken over I’ll force you to purge a boon, something you do not wish to do. Who upon Olympus would devise a strategy to pretend to be unaffected in order to keep their boons? The goddess most prized for her battle strategies. Athena. Now, Zagreus, I’ll ask you again: Are your boons from Lady Athena so important to you that you would lie to me?” Zagreus sighs.

“I had Patroclus fooled, but I knew from the look in your eyes that you were not deceived. Your mind is sharp, Achilles. I praise you for it.”

“Zagreus, I will not be distracted. Lady Athena has taken over your heart. Come into the house, and purge one of her boons.”

“...And what if I refuse?”

“Zagreus. I am under orders from your father to remove any undue godly influences. But more than that...being taken over, especially for long periods of time, is dangerous. How many gods have you been overcome by, now? You’re susceptible to it now. The sooner we purge Lady Athena’s boon...and the sooner you resolve your issues with Thanatos, the sooner this unpleasantness will end. I care for you, Zagreus. I won’t have you walking around possessed.”

"Lady Athena wants me to escape."

"At the cost of your mentor's trust. If you're willing to break my trust in you to escape...The Zagreus I know would never do that."

"I'm not the Zagreus you know. You said it yourself, I've been taken over by Lady Athena. If I'm not responsible for my actions, I can't face any consequences for what I said while under Lady Athena's influence, now can I?" Achilles's face falls, and Patroclus stamps his spear on the ground and says,

"Well, I'll leave you to it. I have a feeling this is going to be unpleasant, and I've no wish to take sides."

"I apologize for this unpleasantness, Patroclus, sir," Zagreus says as he walks away.

"Lad," Achilles begins, "I know you're not yourself right now, but that's no excuse for- PAT!!" It's too late: Patroclus strikes Zagreus with the blunt end of his spear, and Zagreus cries out and collapses. Achilles surges forward to wrap his arms around his waist and catch him.

"You didn't have to do that."

"I've grown quite sick of the gods and their disregard for our prince's soul. He wasn't listening to reason and if I'd let him talk any longer he would have permanently damaged the relationship between you two." Achilles's mouth opens and shuts angrily, completely at a loss for words, before he finally sighs furiously and settles for glaring daggers at Patroclus.

"We'll talk about this later," he snaps, and then turns his attention to Zagreus, who groans as he's lifted into Achilles's arms.

"It's alright, lad, I've got you," he soothes, nudges open the door to their house and sits Zagreus on the edge of the pool. Achilles glares as Patroclus approaches, but he only picks up the knife and makes a cut in Zagreus's forearm. An image enters Achilles's mind, unbidden, of just how many scars Zagreus would have if they stayed with him after death, how he would have a physical reminder of all the times he'd been taken over. Achilles shudders, but forces the ridiculous idea from his mind a second later. Zagreus purges boons all the time, for reasons other than Olympian takeover. The thought that purge scars would suddenly be a source of shame because of a few necessary ones is absurd. Zagreus can't help being taken over, anyways. None of what's happened is his fault.

"Achilles." He snaps back to the present, where Zagreus's wound has already closed - and there isn't a scar, how could he have forgotten that the pool instantly heals the wounds inflicted? - and seventy obols are on the floor around them. Patroclus is staring into his eyes, looking concerned.

"I don't imagine the pool is the most comfortable sitting spot for our young prince," Patroclus says, but Achilles sees the worry clear as day.

"Of course," Achilles says, and he lifts Zagreus up and lays him in their bed.

"It'll be more comfortable than the grass," Achilles says, "You hit him quite hard."

***

The smell is the first thing Zagreus notices...after the throbbing in his head dulls enough that he  _ can  _ notice other things. It smells like home. It's all around him, too, on the thick pillows under his head and the duvet pulled all the way up to his chin. He knows just by the smell that this is Achilles and Patroclus's bed, and he turns his head to the side and pulls the blanket up to breathe in the comforting scent.

"Are you just going to sit there and stew?" Patroclus asks, and the voice is so close that in trying to find the source Zagreus becomes aware of a dip in the bed next to his hips right where the sound came from. There's another dip in the bed by his chest, and that's where Achilles's voice comes from.

"I won't wake Zagreus, he needs to rest."

"Mmm...Too late," Zagreus groans, and he blinks his eyes open to see Achilles and Patroclus both sitting on the bed next to him.

"I'm so sorry, lad, did we wake you?" And he sounds so genuinely guilty that Zagres shakes his head and only realizes that was a bad idea when his head explodes with pain at the movement.

"Agh...ow, no, I...I was...awake before you...started talking, I think...Ow...Note to self, don't move head."

"Sorry about that, stranger."

"No, it's alright…" He remembers what he said, in the seconds before, and he swallows.

"Achilles, I...I owe you an apology. I said some really awful things, and...and I  _ lied  _ to you, and…I just want you to know that I don't believe any of that. I know I was taken over by Lady Athena, but...the fact remains that I said those words, and...I'm sorry." Achilles nods.

"I won't deny that I was deeply hurt by your words, lad. And an apology certainly isn't going to make everything better, but...it's a start. Lad...I'm worried about you. Please, I know you want to give Lord Thanatos his space to think, but this is hurting you. For your own safety, you need to be direct. Find out what his thoughts are, and put the matter to rest in your mind one way or another. Please. I...I don't like seeing you like this. I don't like being hurt by words that aren't your own. And please, Zagreus...Escaping your father's realm...it's not that important, anymore. If you need a break, or time off...take it." Zagreus nods.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm so sorry."

"I don't want your apologies, I want to never see you overcome by your boons ever again. Whatever you need to do to make that happen, do it." Zagreus nods again.

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, lad. Are you leaving right away?"

"Yes, I think so. Not sure how much farther I'll make it, but I think that's for the best. I might spend some time in my room. Do some training with Skelly."

"Alright. We'll walk you to the door." Zagreus stands from the bed and together they walk to the exit.

"I'll see you back at the House, lad."

"See you around." Zagreus leaves, and the moment the door closes-

~~ "WHAT IN ALL THE UNDERWORLD WERE YOU THINKING, PAT?!" ~~


	9. Dionysus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited (at least...by one person) Dionysus chapter! I hope you find it worth the wait! Pretty sure it's the longest chapter, at least!

When next Zagreus comes in, he's fine.

"I spoke to Than," he says, "He's just worrying about some personal stuff, and he just...doesn't really want to be near anybody right now, you know? That makes sense, I haven't seen him around at all. He told me not to worry, that things are just fine. So we're fine!"

"I'm so glad to hear it, lad," Achilles says.

The next time Zagreus comes in, he's still fine. The time after that, however…

"Achilles! Man, listen, I gotta level with you: I really need you not to be a stick in the mud right now, okay? We're all here to have a good time, and there's nothing wrong with that, right?" Achilles and Patroclus can only stare in shock. 

Zagreus's shoulder accessory is gone, that's the most noticeable difference. But his hair has also been combed back and given a relatively neat side part, and the sash around his waist has been tied differently. It's not a neat fold at his back anymore, it's a haphazard knot at his side that leaves the ends trailing down. 

And he's holding five bottles of nectar. Not including however many he had to drink for that flush to appear on his cheeks. 

"Zagreus, lad…" Achilles begins, and then he shudders. He's very acutely aware that this is not Zagreus, it's Lord Dionysus in Zagreus's body. He reminds himself that Zagreus is in there somewhere, and pushes forward.

"...Did something happen with Lord Thanatos?"

"Thanatos? Yeah, god of death, nice enough guy, a little gloomy but whatever." He's uncorking a bottle of nectar while he speaks, and when it's open he puts it to his mouth and gulps down the whole bottle in one.

"Oh. Sorry, that was  _ terribly _ rude of me," he says, "But that's why I brought enough for everyone!" He hands a bottle to Achilles and Patroclus each, and sets the other two on the ground. Zagreus settles back, laying on the ground, and immediately stretches his arms high over his head.

"Man, getting here was a real drag...Oh, hang on, I almost forgot!" He sits up again, and pulls a carefully-wrapped dish from where it had been sitting against his chest.

"Ta-daaaa! Straight from Eurydice in Asphodel, man, that woman can  _ cook _ . Nobody ever thinks about the food at a party, but it's the second most important part, after the drinks. I told her I was hosting a party and she made extra for me, now wasn't that sweet of her?"

"Very sweet," Patroclus says, because Achilles looks too stunned to say anything. Patroclus sits up.

"You know what, why don't you keep the nectar for yourself? You've gifted us both...how many bottles now? Of nectar and ambrosia? I'm sure I couldn't accept another."

"Oh nonsense, you've been a great pal, and that deserves all the nectar in the world! I'm not taking no for an answer, that nectar is yours, and you enjoy it."

"Well...cheers to that." Patroclus raises his glass, and Zagreus eagerly responds.

"Cheers!" Achilles is still too stunned to do more than take it all in. He glances to Patroclus for direction, for some hint as to what's happening, and Patroclus takes a deliberate sip of his nectar, then flicks his eyes to where Zagreus has opened another bottle and taken a sizeable gulp. He then looks to the nectar bottle left between them, and Achilles understands.

They're going to get Zagreus drunk. Zagreus once gulped down two bottles and got very, very drunk. With five bottles between them...Zagreus will be out cold. 

"Cheers," Achilles says, and takes a sip of his own nectar.

"Cheers!" Zagreus responds, and takes another gulp. 

That's two bottles. So they're already past what Zagreus can tolerate. 

"Thanks so much for being cool, guys," Zagreus says, and Achilles smiles.

"What's the harm in relaxing once in a while, right?"

"Exactly! That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Zagreus looks down at his empty bottle of nectar, and Patroclus passes over the last bottle of nectar.

"Take it, stranger. We had our fill of nectar before. Best not to let it go to waste."

"Well isn't that nice of you! Thanks, man," Zagreus says, as he opens up his third bottle of nectar. Meanwhile, Achilles starts on the food. Patroclus raises his eyebrows approvingly. The last thing they need is for Zagreus to build up his tolerance with the food.

A few minutes later, Zagreus is clearly affected. His speech is slurred, his cheeks are more flushed, and he's been talking nonstop for a while. Achilles passes over his half-empty bottle of nectar.

"Do you mind, lad? I'm not sure I can finish this."

"Are you sure? Well, sure, don't want it to go to waste, right?"

"Exactly." Zagreus downs the last of Achilles's nectar, then sighs.

"Wow, I can't remember the last time I've...been this affected…" Zagreus groans, and Patroclus slips his nectar in front of Zagreus while his eyes are closed. As expected, Zagreus picks it up and finishes it off without thinking.

"Man...this nectar...It's good stuff…" 

"Indeed it is," Achilles says. Patroclus shifts closer to Zagreus.

"You're looking a little tired there, stranger. Why not rest your head on my shoulder for a while?"

"Mmm...why not?" Zagreus slurs, and a few minutes after that he's sound asleep. Patroclus picks him up and Achilles takes the knife to cut his arm. Blood wells, blood drips, seventy obols rise and spill over, the wound seals itself, and Patroclus carries Zagreus to their bed.

"What happened, do you think?" he asks, when Zagreus has been tucked in.

"I don't know," Achilles replies, and Patroclus pulls him in for a comforting hug that he leans into. "I don't know."

***

They're at his side when Zagreus wakes, of course.

"How are you feeling, lad?"

"Ugh... _ Man _ , that was strong stuff, I've never been knocked out that cold that fast before! I mean, a measly four, five bottles of nectar? I'm supposed to be the life of the party, and you ended up having to carry me to bed, I mean, that is  _ embarrassing _ , you know? And I'm still drunk, can you believe it? ...What? Is there something on my face? ...You gonna pick your jaws up off the floor or what?" 

"Ah...N-no. Lad. There's. There's nothing. We-we just...thought you'd...be asleep a little longer."

"I know, nectar knocks mortals  _ right  _ out. I'm a god though, so I have high tolerance."

"Ah. Of course…"

"...Got any more nectar? Or some of Eurydice's wonderful food?" Achilles and Patroclus share a wide-eyed glance.

"We have two bottles of ambrosia left. One for you, one for us?"

"Wow...you sure, man? I can have a bottle of ambrosia? I mean, that's awful kind of you."

"For you, stranger, it's nothing. You've given us all of eternity together, what's a bottle of ambrosia?"

"Well I say we have another toast. To eternity!"

"To eternity." They toast, Zagreus gulps down half the bottle in one go, and finishes off the rest not long after. Achilles and Patroclus take only the tiniest of sips, and a few minutes later Zagreus is back under the covers.

"Whew...What is  _ with  _ this stuff? I...I'm really sorry, guys, I think I'm gonna need a kip, I don't know what's wrong with me today…"

"No harm done, stranger, take all the time you need."

When Zagreus is fast asleep,  _ again _ , the two have a tense, rushed conversation.

"Why didn't it take?" Patroclus demands in a whisper.

"I don't know, did we not purge enough?" Achilles replies.

"Two boons, this time?"

"Yes, I suppose we must."

"What if it still doesn't take?"

"We purge until he has nothing left...and Lord Hades will need to know, regardless."

"I don't imagine he'll be pleased," Patroclus says as they carry Zagreus back to the pool. They cut two stripes down his arm, one after the other, and one hundred and fifty five obols spill to the floor. Zagreus's fingers twitch in his sleep as the wounds close, and once Zagreus is tucked back into bed Patroclus wraps his arms around Achilles, who is staring into nothingness again.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take, Patroclus. Zagreus...I fear I'm losing him."

"We won't let that happen, Achilles. Zagreus is not a mortal who will lose himself forever. Sooner or later this thing with Lord Thanatos must resolve itself, and then he'll be back to himself."

"...Would it be selfish of me to keep him here a little longer when he wakes?"

"I think you can be selfish, this once."

***

" _ Owwwwww,  _ my  _ head _ …!" Achilles breathes a sigh of relief, and Patroclus smiles. He's back.

"'Chilles…? 'Chilles, I...Why'm I drrrunk?" Zagreus's speech is so slurred they can barely understand him.

"You were taken over by Lord Dionysus, lad. Do you remember?"

"Drank...drank lot…"

"Yes. Five bottles of nectar and a bottle of ambrosia. Rest a little while longer. It certainly wouldn't do to have you trying to do battle with the exalted while drunk."

"Not that you wouldn't still win, of course," Patroclus adds.

"Drank y'outta house n' home, sorry."

"Indeed, it was quite alarming."

"What Patroclus means to say is...we're glad you're back. Now go back to sleep. You're quite drunk." Zagreus inhales deeply from where he is under the covers.

"...You smell nice…" Patroclus bursts into a fit of chortles that he tries to stifle, and Achilles leans down to kiss his forehead.

"Sleep, lad. No more talking, close your eyes and rest."

"Mmmrest."

"Yes. Hush now, Zagreus." Achilles looks to Patroclus with the intent to admonish him for making noise while he's trying to get Zagreus to settle, but when they lock eyes the absurdity of Zagreus's comment hits him and he too is grinding his teeth to hold back laughter.

Thankfully, Zagreus is asleep when he eventually breaks down into breathy laughter.


	10. Aphrodite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT: Thanatos comes to realize that all his time spent getting close to Zagreus was because he wanted to get closer to Meg. Zagreus is understandably heartbroken and turns to the gods to forget his pain. If that sounds like not your cup of tea, skip this chapter, or stop reading immediately after the boon is purged. 
> 
> CW for unhealthy coping mechanisms.
> 
> Oh, and to bring back an old saying from FF.net: Flames will be used to make s'mores :)

When Zagreus comes in next, he runs for them, absolutely beaming. Well, for one of them.

"Achilles!" Zagreus collides with Achilles, and then their lips meet in a passionate kiss. Achilles's eyes widen, and he pushes back.

"Zagreus, lad-" But Zagreus's lips are on his again, firm and insistent. Zagreus wraps his arms around Achilles, who takes advantage of Zagreus's next breath to push him away again.

"Zagreus, stop," he says plainly, and thanks the gods when he does. Aphrodite will not force herself on another, clearly. So Zagreus pulls back, with no small amount of confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because, lad. You're not yourself."

"I am myself. I'm more myself than I've ever been," he replies, stealing another firm kiss before being pushed back again.

"Lad, this...I won't do this while you're under the influence of Lady Aphrodite."

"You want me to get rid of one of my boons? No, Lady Aphrodite is helping me, I'm not letting her go. Besides, she can make this better, so just relax, okay? Let me take care of you." Zagreus goes in for another kiss, this time on his neck.

"Zagreus, wait, slow down…!" Zagreus pulls back, and he smiles.

"Oh, I see, you're just nervous. I suppose I  _ did  _ come on a little strong...Would you feel more comfortable if Patroclus helped you relax?" Zagreus looks to Patroclus, who decides to take control of the situation and smiles.

"You definitely came on much too strong for him. Here, kiss him like this." Patroclus cups Zagreus's cheek, then tilts his head for a short, chaste kiss.

"Keep it short," he murmurs, "Give him space, let him come to you." He pulls back.

"He'll need time to come out of his shell again, so let's you and I treat him to a show to help get him warmed up, alright, stanger?"

"Oh, I think we're much more than strangers now," Zagreus purrs, and kisses Patroclus. Patroclus reciprocates, and then immediately starts pulling him back into the house. Once inside, Patroclus hoists Zagreus up and pins him against the wall with his legs on either side of his hips. Zagreus laughs aloud, and Patroclus glances to Achilles. Oh. They're right next to the pool of purging, and that was no coincidence. Achilles approaches cautiously, but Zagreus notices and reaches up to cup his face.

"I'm really sorry for scaring you, Achilles, sir. You know I love you, right?"

"I...I know, lad, and I love you too." He takes Zagreus's hand and presses it further against his cheek for a moment before twining their fingers and pulling the hand away to hold it over the pool. Even with Patroclus kissing his neck to try and distract him, Zagreus notices.

"...Achilles, sir? You're making me a bit nervous." Achilles shivers, and Patroclus moves one hand to rest soothingly on Achilles's back.

"Am I, lad? Forgive me. ...It won't be for much longer." Then, as quickly as he can, he takes the knife and cuts a stripe down Zagreus's arm.

"Achilles! Stop, let-let go!" He struggles, but Patroclus holds him still and Achilles keeps a firm grip on his hand as the blood slowly drips down into the pool.

"Stop it, I don't want- I can't give up any of my boons, I need- let go! Achilles,  _ please _ !"

"I know, lad, I know." Achilles wishes the blood would flow faster, even as the whole process completes in seconds. Zagreus struggles, trying in vain to pull his arm away from the pool, but eventually sixty obols float to the surface. As they clatter to the ground, Zagreus's struggles lessen and then stop altogether. He blinks and shakes his head, clearly trying to get his bearings.

"I...I…" When he meets Patroclus's eyes, Patroclus nods at him.

"Back with us, stranger? Can I put you down now?" The wound seals itself up as Zagreus nods slowly.

"Yes, I...I'm alright now. Thank you...sorry." 

"No harm done..." Patroclus says as he puts Zagreus down, and then immediately Achilles wraps his arms around Zagreus in a crushing hug. "...mostly."

"I'm so sorry, lad," Achilles says, "I didn't want to force you, I just…" He trails off, and Zagreus rubs his back soothingly.

"No, it's alright. I all but pounced on you, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd knocked me out again. I'm...truly very sorry, Achilles. I...I know I wasn't myself, but...that doesn't excuse my actions. I think...Lady Aphrodite is so used to people eagerly accepting her advances on principle that...I'm so sorry. I...I'm sorry. I truly am."

"I'm just glad you're back with us now." Zagreus doesn't need to point out that Achilles hasn't assured him it was alright. This offense will take time to smooth over. 

"And I'm sorry to you, too," Zagreus says as he looks over at Patroclus, "I never should have made it necessary for you to pretend to get me to purge a boon." Patroclus shrugs.

"No harm done. Though I hope you don't mind if we try to avoid a repeat incident."

"Of course, sir. I'm so sorry."

"You were doing so well, lad. You hadn't been taken over at all recently, but now Dionysus, Aphrodite...What happened?"

Zagreus starts to cry.

"Oh, Zagreus," Achilles says as he pulls Zagreus into his arms. "There you are, lad, that's it...how long have you been holding this in?" Zagreus doesn't respond, can't. He's crying too much.

"I don't want to feel," he finally sobs, when he's able, and Achilles swallows, but thankfully this is one area where Patroclus shines.

"You'd think it would be the bad memories that hurt the most, but it's not, is it? It's all the good memories that are now sour." Achilles flinches, but Zagreus lets out a healing, grateful sob and falls into Patroclus's arms.

"It hurts to remember the good times, shadowed by the light of tragedy," he continues, "Memories that you thought you'd treasure forever now hurt to recall, and that hurts more than the wound itself." Zagreus is beyond words, but he's clutching at Patroclus so tightly he knows he's finally breaking through.

"I can't decide for you whether you want to keep the memories or wash them away entirely, Zagreus, and I certainly will not begrudge you a drink from the Lethe, but I will say this: As long as there is respect and love in your heart for Achilles and myself, allowing yourself to be taken by the gods is not how you might forget your pains. The gods erase everything that makes you who you are. Sparring sessions with Achilles, the reunions with your mother, times spent with mother Nyx...if you choose the gods, you will lose not only the painful memories, but those cherished ones as well." Zagreus freezes.

"I don't...I don't want-"

"I know you don't, Zagreus. That's not who you are." Zagreus nods.

"I...overheard Meg and Than-" He chokes. "Me...Megaera and Thanatos." He's using full names, erasing the familiarity he had with them. Yes, it's safe to say things ended badly.

"Thanatos...He felt guilty because...because he knew I was being taken over and it was his fault. He lied and said things were fine because he didn't want to make things worse, but...the truth was he just didn't know how to tell me that-" Zagreus chokes again, and his voice goes thick and nearly unintelligible with tears.

"That all the time spent with me, he just...he just wanted to get cl-closer to Meg-Megaera!" Zagreus dissolves into tears, again, as Achilles and Patroclus hiss through their teeth. 

"I-I asked him about it, and he said he realized when...when we were...The best n-night of my life...and they didn't even want me there!"

"I'm so sorry, Zagreus," Patroclus murmurs, and he pulls him close and holds him as he cries.

"Stay with us, for a while," Achilles says, and hopes he isn't out of line. Patroclus doesn't make any attempt to stop him, so he pushes forward. "Forget your troubles for a little while. You said Thanatos wasn't around the house, of late. If he was avoiding you, then you're entitled to avoid him too. Stay here, get your head on straight. Go back if and when you're ready."

"I...Than and I...we'll have to...work together...Those games we played…" Zagreus sniffles.

"You'll have to speak to Lord Thanatos to decide how best to continue your relationship. But that can come later, if it comes at all. As Pat said, neither of us will begrudge you a drink from the Lethe. But that, too, can come later. For right now...rest. Sleep. Share a bottle of nectar with us, forget your troubles for a while. You'll make it through this, lad, one step at a time." Zagreus takes a watery breath, and nods.

"...One step at a time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! Hopeful ending? Also the plot point about Meg and Than was taken from a fic (found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29444487/chapters/72350073#workskin ) that implied that something similar had happened to Zag. Some line like "What Meg and Than did to you was horrible, using you to get closer to eachother like that" or something. Didn't go into details, but here Than genuinely thought he loved Zag until the threesome scene when he realizes he's only ever wanted Meg. Than didn't tell him, and then Zag overheard it, and...ran to the gods and all but begged to be taken over to forget a little while. Anyway, that's the fic! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
